Things not to say on your First day at work.

Remember that words and genies have something in common. Once they're out there, it's almost impossible to coax them back inside the proverbial bottle. Here are seven phrases to avoid until you've proven yourself on at least one assignment.

1. "Sorry I'm late."

Don’t let anything whatsoever keep you from your resumption Time. There is no grace period. If you live in an area where it's impossible to ever get anywhere on time, set your clock to arrive a half-hour early and stand outside the building until 10 minutes before check-in if need be. Don't hang out with the fashionably late crowd at work. They soon may be fashionably unemployed. Make it your mission to be on time, with your mobile device turned off. (Switching it to "vibrate" will only make you sound like a human bug zapper.) It would be especially considerate if you didn't arrive carrying a smelly geisha-fish sandwich either.

2. "Wow, the receptionist is hot."

This phrase is a sexual-harassment case waiting to sit up and slap you in the face. It's best to never utter these words (or think them, for that matter). But on your first day at the job, this sentiment is even more potentially self-sabotaging, as you haven't had the chance to scope out the relationships that exist in the firm. For all you know, the person you're speaking to could be an HR person (who will question your boss's judgment in hiring you), or worse yet, the receptionist's husband!

3. "Is it okay if I check my Facebook account?"

Facebook minute expands into an hour and the addiction can be difficult to break. Rather than asking for permission, peruse the employee handbook in which the social-media policy (among others) may be spelled out. While new evidence suggests that taking the occasional social-media break may enhance employee productivity, your boss may not necessarily view it that way. Are you on LinkedIn? You may need to ‘Link Out’ during office hours. Meanwhile, Twittering away your days could make you look as underemployed as Twitterledee and Twitterledum.

4. "At my last job..."

These four little words may seem like a potential red flag to your new boss, who may well wonder if you will now question every procedure or second-guess her on each suggestion. As a newbie, it's best not to question authority. Whenever you are tempted to compare your current job to your last, close your lips and nod your head "yes" instead. Vow to be a good student rather than a teacher. Prove that you're a quick learner, eager to pick up new information, rather than one who is mired in the quicksand of time.

5. "Is there any place where I can make a private call?"

This phrase has the trace of secrets, lies, and lawyers. Even in the best of times, that's not a particularly joyous track. Don't conduct unfinished business on company time. If the call is urgent, dash outside the building and text the person. Or wait till after office hours and call the person from home. Legally, employers have the right to spy through their employees' emails, so chatting about big secrets via email is about as private as airing your dirty laundry in the conference room.

6. "Knock, knock."

A closed door needs to be respected above and beyond your desire to convey vital information to your boss. Is a client on the phone with an urgent question? Is your boss's boss's boss on a rampage yet again? Is all hell breaking loose on the 19th floor? One aspect of being professional is knowing when not to panic. Jot down a note and wait till your boss's door opens before assaulting him or her with news that may or may not be life-changing. Cool judgment trumps the needless display of passion every time.

7. "Did you hear the one about..."

Humour is highly subjective. One person's light-hearted joke makes another person spike with annoyance. Why risk an infraction? Find some other clever way to break the ice.